Its time to drop that guilt!
Whilst working with clients today I realised what the biggest restriction is to allowing your inner child to begin to heal.
It isnt the painful memories that they have kept hidden away for so long and been unable to talk about.
It isnt that they are not ready to deal with the emotions that will resurface if they allow themselves to remember.
Its not even the fact that they will have to finally deal with what they felt back in their childhood.
It is actually GUILT
'Guilt!' i hear you say, 'what for?'
The guilt isnt for what they did or what they perceive they allowed to happen to them. No it is feeling guilty for saying that they had a bad childhood.
- 'But my mum/dad did their best for us.'
- 'We didnt have much money so they had to work all the time'
- 'I had lots of brothers and sisters so there wasnt much time for all that'
- 'My mom did her best'
- 'It was a different time'
- 'Mum was young when she had me'
- 'Dad had a lot of responsibilities'
- 'Her/his parents were the same'
Yes these are all reasonable assessments of your situation when you are an adult.
It is easy to dismiss what you felt as a child by rationalising now.
However when you were a little child your needs wernt met. Whatever they may have been. By continuing to rationalise now you are still showing that little version of herself that his/her needs were not important.
When we are finally able to seperate the guilt that we feel because we feel that we are being unfair or disloyal to our parents. When we are able to build a brick wall about worrying what our parents may feel about our emotions and leave them behind that brick wall while we heal, we can finally allow ourselves to say 'Yes, my parents did what they thought was best, But MY NEEDS WERE NOT MET!'
To acknowlege this is the first stage in healing your inner child. You are finally saying to the little you that 'Yes, your feelings do matter'. 'Whatever you felt is OK and I am here for you!'
Finally this child will begin to feel loved and supported.
After that they finally allow themselves to really remember how they felt.
Often i hear 'yes because i often felt unloved' or 'i used to feel so unwanted'. All of those memories thet have about there feelings are safely released.
They leave their healing session able to look back at those times but now they know how it feels to be loved and supported.
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